Sleep...

You know I go to bed every night so excited to dream. I'm literally excited to find out what I am going to go through. I always have amazing situations. I can't even have nightmares anymore. I have this ability to wake myself up if it is too scary and I know it isn't real. It's as if in the dream world I have control over what I don't want to experience. I wish real life was that way. I think thats why I love to sleep so much, because it's always about a life that is so unlike the real one. The situations are so complex and ideal. I want to escape there, especially because my real life is so shitty. Sometimes I feel like my dreams are real and this is just a bad dream. Those hypothetical questions people ask are my life. Like people ask sometimes what would you do if one day you just lost your sight. The funny thing is I don't have to imagine because that will happen. And it's so scary to not have to answer that hypothetically speaking, but for real. And the truth is I don't know and I'm scared to death. Please let me dream away this crap tonight.