getting started

I want to finally get started with the job searching again, but I'm just scared of rejection again. I remember the last time, being so nervous. And of course like with everything else there is an awkward moment where the people who are hiring see that I have a problem but don't know for sure. I have to be the one to break the ice. I felt it didn't go well last time and I can't help but thin I didn't get the job because I am disabled. I know they can't discriminate but I can feel this is why I never get the job. In stressful situations my medical conditions hinder me even more, so I appear more nervous, my handwriting is even sloppier and harder to do. I am a walking disaster. I'm just dreading to start over.